Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
