You're completely useless in the revolution.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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