You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
