forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
