just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
