its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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