Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
