I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
