Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
