sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
