Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
