I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
