The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
