I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize