Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
