quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
