WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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