Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
