If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
