good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
