my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
