i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
