If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
