sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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