they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
