There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize