Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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