Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize