Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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