but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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