It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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