Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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