some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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