I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
