she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
