Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
