My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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