About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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