he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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