Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we're so committed to being not committed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
