What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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