Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Boobs speak an international language.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
