well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
