I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize