not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Are we still banned from the library?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
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