Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
