I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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