No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
