The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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