Me. At least after what I've been through.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize