No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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