You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
