just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
