He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
