She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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