I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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