If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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