your thong is hanging out like whoa
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i came on her dog
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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