I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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