Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
